On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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