Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
