4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
