In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am naked and annoyed.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
