I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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