I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I had to cum in my sink.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
