so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize