just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
