I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
