we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
