6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
