i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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