I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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