You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
