You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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