To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
