so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
