he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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