I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
