Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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