I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
