she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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