I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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