can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize