I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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