I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
