May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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