Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
