I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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