redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
