Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
