She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
