Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
