I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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