She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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