Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He felt like a one man threesome
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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