I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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