why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
