I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
as a side note pls kill me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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