aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
