i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
