the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
His hands were made for my vagina.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
