carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
