the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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