I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize