wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
