PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
