I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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