She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
