we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
