Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
