She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I wear drunk well.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
