it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
