Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
