is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize