Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
