Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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