Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
