i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
