how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
