So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
