sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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