So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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