He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
