I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
