...so i touched it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
