I am in a vortex of obligation.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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