I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
